As You Were
by alastgambit
Summary: Sometimes we long for things to be as they were but sometimes we fear that they will once again be the same.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** As You Were

**Disclaimer:** I of course do not own anything to do with Roswell… except a few books.

**Summary:** Sometimes we long for things to be as they were but sometimes we fear that they will once again be the same.

**Authors Note:** I've been toying with this idea for a few years slowly developing it bit by bit. Since I don't know how this fic will end I'm not giving away too much. So no spoilers. This is a future fic set six years after 'Graduation'. Maria is now 24 and the year is 2008. This doe have an OC but she's a catalyst. She will have her own storylines but these lead to others. This chapter is an introduction to gauge your reactions. This does mean it has a lot of info within it so feel free to ask questions if you're needing any info or explanations.

**As You Were**

By the age of 22 Maria had become both a widow and a single mother. The tragedy of the events did not escape her. Nor did the events of her life from the age of 16. However, the detective sitting in front of her was not aware of much before she turned 19. The detective was eyeing her waiting for an answer to his first question.

"_How did you meet your husband Mrs Cameron"? _Jamie had never taken her name nor had she used it in the two years since his death. Would the detective be more suspicious of her if she corrected him?

"Jamie and I met in a café at a truck stop", she fingered a cut in the table top as she fondly remembered their meeting. Jamie was strikingly handsome but Maria has spotted the desolation in his eyes first. A reflection of the expression she tried to cover in the mirror every day since the 'pod squad' had left her just outside New York.

"Can you tell me more about that day? What you thought of him? Did you know who he was"? Maria had been asked these questions before. Did she know he was rich? Did she know his parents? Did he have life insurance?

"He was sad. He looked ready to cry so I sat across from him", she met the detectives gaze, and "I'd just finished my shift and found that my friends… the people I was travelling with had ditched me. He looked like I felt so I offered to buy him a coffee and offer him an ear. We got on straight away it's almost as if we'd always known each other". Maria smiled at the memory. He had crystal clear blue eyes. He looked like he was usually happy. Even at 21 he had laughter lines. She could imagine the man he would become as a salt and peppered thinly muscled. But that was not to be. Her chest felt heavy at the thought. She took a deep breath to steady herself. Two years and his loss stung like fire down her throat. As if sensing the detective's next question she carried on.

"His parents has threatened to disown him. At the time he thought they had. He'd gone to a college his parents didn't like and was studying a degree they didn't like", she paused… she was lying or about to and had to do it smoothly so as not to draw the detective's attention. "They accused him of being gay. He isn't, wasn't", she cast a meaningful glance at her daughter playing with toys at the far side of the room and saw a quirk in the man's mouth.

"Jamie said they sat him down one day and said they thought he was in a relationship with his best friend…eh I think his name was Chris", Christopher Alan Watkins, "Yeah, I think it was Chris. His parents had been loaning his family money so Chris could have some sort of treatment. They said that they didn't approve of homosexuality and so were cutting him off. Jamie said they weren't listening to him. I remember he said that it was an excuse to disapprove of him. He may have not went down the path they wanted for him but he was a genius. He graduated top of his class from university".

"So he felt they were trying to control him and making up excuses for their disapproval? Seems a little far-fetched to me. Mr and Mrs Cameron are..."

"When they found out I was pregnant they told him if he went back to university to study business, like his father had and at the same university, then he'd be reinstated on their wills and they'd get rid of me… even suggested I terminate my pregnancy. They game him ways to convince me", she saw the doubt in the detectives eyes, "I have a letter they wrote to him. On company headed paper no less. Like a business transaction". She pulled the letter from a folder in her purse and placed it on the table. She saw the change in the detective's demeanour as he read further and further.

She remembered meeting Mr and Mrs Cameron. It was two weeks after meeting Jamie in the diner. She has agreed to be his fiancé and he's agreed to come to Roswell with her. He wanted as far away from the world he'd grown up in and Roswell clearly was the way to go. Before they made their way south he took her to meet his parents. Maria knew what they saw. A tall blonde, green eyed… diner girl. They were socialites hoping for a son to follow their path and marry the Jones' daughter. She wasn't good enough. Exemplified two months later in the written response to Jami informing his parents of her pregnancy.

She also knew what the detective expected to see when he came to meet her. Since the Cameron's knew nothing about her they would only assume. Jamie said they had no idea he worked in pharmaceuticals. Assuming that they'd become trailer trash. Maria had dressed for the interview and for the heat. A blue cotton dress with an eyelet pattern at the hem and around the edges of the cap sleeves a pale blue vest on underneath with her hair pinned back off her face. She was the picture of gentile. As she should be. She was a kindergarten teacher and Pilate's instructor. Well respected in Roswell. Her step father was the town sheriff. She couldn't be more respectable if she'd tried. And she had. Her former in-laws had made a claim that she was an abusive mother living in squalor. This investigation and the tests and examinations of her daughter were to test the unfair claim.

"Can you tell me about the time leading up to Jamie's death Mrs Cameron"?

"Ms DeLuca please. Jamie took my name to be independent from his parents. They wouldn't have me as a Cameron", she gave him a small smile. Unlike before correcting him not enforced the Cameron's dislike of her and made her seem better and them worse.

"The Cameron's had no contact with either Jamie or I from the time of the letter. That was until two weeks before… before the accident. They called and said they needed to speak with him and it was important. They wouldn't say over the phone. He was worried one of them was ill so he left as soon as he could".

"The 9th? Did he arrive on the same day as the accident"?

"Yes. He booked himself a room in a hotel. He didn't want to stay with them. He drove up and they had a meal set up for welcoming him. He told me that they were not happy that he hadn't brought Emelia with him. I wasn't invited. They suggested sending Emmy to a prep school near their home and she would stay with them. Jamie refused of course. He told me that they still hadn't told him why they'd asked him to come to New York. That was bout 7pm".

"Did he drive all the way"?

"No he flew into JFK and then rented a car".

"What time did he call you in the evening"?

"About 11pm. I'm not sure. He sounded upset and tiered. I told him to go to sleep and I would see him tomorrow".

"Did he tell you why he was upset"? The detective wasn't looking at her. Clearly having made the conclusion she was leading him to. The Cameron's wanted there granddaughter away from a woman they deemed not good enough and they were willing to lie about it. Good thing he was too busy with his notes. Maybe he would have noticed her lie. She had to protect her daughter of course.

"No he didn't. He said he'd talk to me when he got home. He wanted to be home as soon as possible to see Emmy and me". He had then gotten in his rental car in the pouring rain after having a few to many drinks at the bar and then died in a head on collision with another car after he'd failed to yield at a light. He should have listened to her. He was in no state to drive.

"Just a couple more questions and we'll be done".

"O.K.".

"The woman that you live with…"?

"Is my half-sister. My biological fathers other daughter". Lie. Anyone who looked at Adrianna would know they were not related. "She works for the FBI".

"The money you have… the Cameron's implied some form of fraud". He gave her an apologetic smile.

"I live off a teachers salary, supplemented by the pilates classes I teach. Jamies life insurance is in a trust fund for Emmy. Adrianna is the wealthy one. Her mother left her a fair inheritance".

"Not your father then". Maria let out an uncontrollable snort.

"My dad is wealthy enough but he kept that from my mom. Aide lets me live with her I think out of pity. She thinks I've drawn the short straw". Lie and half truths but the detevetive failed to notice or he wasn't interested.

"That'll be all Ms DeLuca. I may need to get back in touch but that'll likely be by phone. I can clearly see the allegations against you are false". He shook her hand and made his way out the room without as much as a goodbye.

* * *

**Two Weeks Later**

Maria heaved the grocery bag she was carrying on to her hip. Balancing it precariously she attempted to unlock the door when it swung open and she was faced with the honeyed brown eyes of her daughter. The five year old attempted to take one of the bags from her but Aide plucked it away from behind her.

"Back to your reading missy". Emmy heaved her shoulders, pouted and let out a sigh before loping her way back to the dining table at the other side of the overly large kitchen/ dining room/ living room.

"Thanks for the help", Maria muttered with faux sarcasm as she nodded her head to the bags. Adrianna let out a quiet chuckle before taking the rest of the bags from her with ease and heading to the kitchen.

"You're in the paper". Aide pointed to the paper set on the large island that separated the kitchen from the rest of the living space. Maria shot her a quizzical look as she picked up the paper and read the title of the article that her 'sister' had folded the paper on to. 'Money can't buy you class – socialites lie to steal the granddaughter from her teacher mother'.

"They spelt socialites wrong". Aide nodded at Emmy.

"Emmy found the article. She was reading the paper because her school books are too easy". The little girl gave her mom a pleasing look.

"Good thing I bought you another book then", her daughter's eyes lit up with excitement, "finish reading your chapter and then you can have this one". Maria placed a brand new copy of Jane Eyre in front of her daughter and watched her head dip to concentrate on the page in front of her. Her small finger with faded pink nail polish from a 'beauty' birthday party the week before running along under the words before she let out a squeal of excitement as she finished, grabbed the book an dashed to her room.

Aide gave Maria a speculative look.

"Have you had her IQ tested? People just think she's bright because her mother is a teacher. They assume you drill lessons into her".

"She's hanging back in class I think. Margaret won't tell me much".

"We'll she's been put up a grade will they do it again". Maria shook her head no. She'd rather Emmy not draw too much attention to herself. Adrianna had worked tirelessly to clear the pod squad's names. Making up a story that the lead investigator had fabricated evidence to siphon off funds for himself and passed the buck to a group of teenagers. Aide had never been too explicit in her details but she stated that if 'they' came back they would be safe.

* * *

**2003: Roswell **

Maria had met Adrianna not long after Emmys birth. The woman who now bore a striking resemblance to her elfin daughter. Amy had offered to look after Emmy to allow Maria an afternoon to rest while Jamie was at work. She had walked into her apartment to find Aide sitting on her sofa. Maria was startled by a look in her eyes that reminded her of Michael.

"Don't be afraid of me. I'm here to help you. You're being followed. You have been since you came back to Roswell". Maria stood staring at her in shock. A human alone in danger because of aliens and they were nowhere close to protect her.

"We have to look after our own". Maria gave the woman a confused look. "Your daughter".

"What about her"?

"They stole samples of her blood and hair from the hospital", fear spiked through Maria, "don't worry as I said we protect our own. They're parked outside in the brown sedan and the blue one further up also. I believe one is at your mothers as well".

"Who the hell are you"?

"Adrianna Remmi. I work for the FBI. I'm also Antarian… or half. My mom was from Antar. I was working clean-up for what was happening with you guys but then something happened and the deadline was pushed forward. I couldn't clear you all by the time you ran. It's done now. Almost. Your husband is helping with that".

"What's Jamie doing"?

"You and I both know that your husband is for show. As long as you do nothing to raise suspicions for a while they'll go away".

"Why are you helping me"? The woman gave a sad smile.

"Because you're the mother of my niece". Maria moved to the window to open the blind and in doing so spotted the two cars. Two cars with people sitting in them parked on the other side of the street. Two cars that would continue to be there each day for a fortnight before Maria called the number on the card that Adrianna had placed on her coffee table as she left without Maria knowing.

"How can I help"?

2008

Although they had been safe for years. With no FBI agents near the home except Adrianna's co-workers. Maria never quite felt safe. The further that she could distance herself from Maria circa 2002 the better. Emilia was the daughter of a doctor of pharmaceuticals, Jamie DeLuca. Adrianna Remmi is her half-sister. Daughter of her absentee father Brian DeLuca. She was a teacher. No matter what feelings she harboured for Michael she couldn't forget finishing her shift at 'Quickies Diner', a shift Liz told her she was too ill for and walking into their empty motel room. A letter left for her. Not a proper explanation. A coward's way out.

_You're not safe with us. We can protect ourselves. But if someone were to come for you… it's not safe. Please destroy this note._

Maria had walked back across the road to the diner hoping to collect her check early and head home to Roswell. Instead she'd seen a man who looked just like how she felt. A man who'd fallen in love with his best friend and had been rejected and disowned by his parents. A man who died three years later after drinking and driving. After his parents had called him back home after three years. After his parents had sat smugly across the table from him and told him his best friend was moving so he could marry his boyfriend. After his so called best told him he'd used him for the money, knowing that he's led him on. Jamie had called her in tears saying he didn't blame him, he didn't hate him. If you have a chance at life you take it. The chance he had given her by claiming her and her daughter as his.

* * *

**Present Day: Buffalo, Wyoming**

"Oh my God".

"For fuck sake Iz don't be so dramatic". Isabel had gone from lying on the sofa to bolt upright. Catching the attention of the other four people in the room.

"No, but, oh my God… this is about Maria". She pointed at the page in the newspaper only to have Liz snatch it from her hands.

"Maria has a daughter". She said with a touch of awe in her voice. In the almost six years since she married Max she'd wanted a child, wondered if it was possible, wondered if it was safe. But how do you have a child if you're on the run from the FBI.

"Yeah and she was married". Isabel made a face to the others, a little smug that she knew and they didn't.

"Did you finish reading this"? Liz questioned her sister-in-law.

"No, I saw her picture and read her name. Why"?

"Her husband died in a car accident during a storm. Her in-laws made false claims of child abuse to try and get her daughter for themselves. The detective says _"It's clearly evident that Mr and Mrs Cameron felt their wealth and position allowed them to take a child from her mother. No mother in my opinion is fitter than Ms DeLuca"._ She's a kindergarten teacher".The awed tone now rang in her voice more clearly than before.

"You O.K. Iz", Kyle's hand wrapped around Isabel's arm made her feel safe.

"I was thinking of Alex. I can't imagine losing my husband and then having his parents do something like that". She gave Kyle a poignant look. Her eyes then fixed on the simple band on her finger. Five years ago she was married to Jessie… still was and engaged to Kyle. How would they work that out? Could they marry? She looked over at Michael. Still wearing his mechanic overalls he'd sat on the cream sofa. Even with the news that the woman he loved had married and was widowed, she still had to fight the urge to tell him off.

"Kyle what are you doing". Max's voice was as stern as ever.

"Making a phone call, obviously. Dad? It's me, Kyle". Isabel felt her heart flutter as she saw the happiness in Kyle's face just talking to his father.

"Dad, Maria… Maria is in the paper. How is she? What? How? How is that possible? O.K. I'll tell them". Kyle put the phone down and turned to the group who sat in suspense.

"Dad says we can come home"? Michael was the first to react.

"How the hell can we do that"? Liz gave him a sharp look for his tone and he seemed to sit further back in the seat.

"He said the FBI agent who led the investigation was convicted of stealing funds and fabricating evidence to blame us. He died of a heart attack before he was given any punishment".

"But the explosions break-ins… everything". Max was too stunned to talk.

"He got the blame for all of it he was taking money for arms deals. Dad didn't explain too much".

"If there is evidence to support his conviction then someone has fabricated stuff against him". Isabel smiled. She admired Liz's ability to apply logic to any situation.

"But who… Maria"?

"Pregnant, remember"?

"Dad"?

"Wasn't he being investigated for helping us? It wouldn't be safe".

"So the question is who the fuck is out there helping us and how long have they been doing it. When did we last see a sign of FBI"?

"Actually I think the question is, 'do we go back'"?


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** As You Were

**Disclaimer:** I of course do not own anything to do with Roswell… except a few books.

**Summary:** Sometimes we long for things to be as they were but sometimes we fear that they will once again be the same.

**Authors Note:** This chapter is a little later and shorter than I intended it to be. I've written this almost as a filler to clear up a few details before I begin with the drama and details a plenty. This fic is mostly Maria's POV with a smattering of a few others. Which means that you as the reader will become privy to a few of Marias secrets. I will also reference events and characters that you will not be familiar with but I will explain them when it's necessary.

**As You Were**

* * *

**Roswell 2003**

Maria had not felt this scared or nervous for years. She had been sitting on the off tan coloured sofa in the small apartment that she shared with Jamie (her fiancé) for half an hour. The longest half hour of her life. Jamie was late home. By ten… no eleven minutes. Her mind had been racing as to what to do about her 'situation' for most of the day. She had a number of options as she saw it. Get rid of it or keep it? Run away or stay? Lie to Jamie or tell the truth to Jamie? Jamie. Should she beg, should she plead? Would he even believe her? Would he out her? Shed barely known him three months… two and a half even. He held no allegiance to her. No reason to protect her. She twirled the small diamond ring on her finger. Would he feel trapped? Would he be forced to support her given her support of him? She hoped not. She didn't want someone to feel indebted to her. Nor, though, did she want to bring someone into the lie that was her life.

She kicked the coffee table leg and did more damage to her big toe than the table. She left out a moan of frustration. If only he'd get here sooner then she'd stop changing her mind… hopefully. She placed a hand on her stomach and her mind seemed to quiet. Keep it. But what to do then?

"Penny for your thoughts"? Maria's head snapped up. Jamie was walking into the living room holding some groceries. Milk? She had asked him to pick some up that morning. It seemed so long ago.

"I thought you said you'd be helping out at your mums shop till seven". Had she? Maria didn't remember. Her silence drew his attention. "Maria"?

"I felt ill". A small frown of concern creased his brow. He crossed the room in two easy strides. Oh if only you were straight Maria thought. It would be too easy to fall in love with him. To imagine his strong hands hold her in something other than a friendly embrace. But that would never be. She gave him a small smile.

"What's wrong Ria"?

"I'm pregnant". His frown changed to one of confusion.

"You know I didn't do that right"? She laughed a little and he joined in. Better start from the beginning Maria she though. Maria patted the sofa next to her and he sat down.

"Remember I told you that you weren't alone in having secrets"?

"Of course. At the diner. Are you going to tell me"?

"Yeah I should really… since you're my fiancé and all". Maria forced a laugh.

"You don't have to tell me".

"I don't mind. Maybe I should have told someone years ago. You probably won't believe me but if you let me speak I'll show you proof and then what you choose to do is up to you".

"I don't like the sound of that Maria". She gave him a pleading look and after a pause he gave a nod for her to begin.

"My best friend from elementary was Elizabeth Parker, Liz. She got me a job at her dad's restaurant. The Crashdown Café", she kept a watchful eye on him looking for recognition and fear, "that's where I first saw them. I may have never paid much attention to them if Liz hadn't been giving one of them gogo eyes. He was called Max. He hung out with his sister and their friend. Max was Liz's match. A perfect equal. Liz's boyfriend Kyle didn't like that", she smiled at him as he recognised the name of her step brother to be, "Kyle saw how good Liz was but really they were a poor couple the geek and the jock. One day Liz and I were working and to men got into an argument, one pulled a gun and shot. I swore I saw Liz get hit. The way she fell. The look on her face. Max ran at her and his friend Michael eventually pulled him away. Liz was fine she had ketchup all over her and what I swore was blood but she showed me her stomach and there was no injury. She kept that up for a while and then she told me max has healed her", Maria held her hand up to stop Jamie's questions, "She told me Max, his sister Isabel and Michael were Aliens from the Roswell crash. I don't believe her at first but then I saw proof. Liz and Kyle split up and she began dating Max. Lots of crazy stuff happened and the FBI began tailing us. We got information that they planned to kill us… well Max, Michael, Isabel, Liz and Kyle. They wanted to leave me behind but like Max and Liz, Michael and I had been together and I didn't want to lose him. They left me eventually in New York. The morning I met you. But even though they had planned to leave me, Michael had thought it fine to sleep with me". She stopped. The pain of being abandoned was still too close to the surface. The betrayal hadn't quite spurred her into anger.

"The baby is Michaels"?

"He's the only person… one I've ever slept with". He gave her a slight nod.

"So your baby. The one you're pregnant with… is an alien"?

"Sort of. I'm sorry I've given you the massively abridged version of what happened. The aliens are hybrids of human and alien to help them live on this planet. I think my baby is more human than alien".

"What will it look like"? Maria imagined him thinking of a green thing.

"Max had an affair of sorts and had a son he was the child of two hybrids… she'd made her appearance after we all knew about them and died just before we left… she was trying to escape a military base. Anyway, their baby was completely human in appearance".

"So it will look human". Maria gave a small nod and put her hand to the bottom of her shirt.

"_She_ will look completely human but she'll have special abilities". Maria lifted her top and placed her hand against the skin of her as yet barely swollen stomach where her hand touched flesh a faint glow emanated. Jamie's eyes widened. Not in fear but in wonder.

"May I"? Maria nodded and replaced her hand with Jamie's. After a second the glow began again.

"When did you realise"?

"The nausea began before the glow. I put off doing a test until this morning when I noticed the glow".

"Is that her power"?

"Did you feel it? She calmed me down". Jamie nodded.

"It's a lot to take in. I expect that since you told me you intend to keep her".

"Of course as much as I thought about my options I never truly considered getting rid of her". Jamie sat forward on the edge of the sofa and rand his hands through his hair. He was silent for so long Maria began to worry.

"People will think I proposed because your pregnant you know".

"Ah well your mom and dad think I'm a tramp already". Jamie gave a bark of laughter. He turned to face Maria with a look that spurred hope in her heart. He took her hands in his.

"Maria DeLuca. In two months you will be my wife. You are pregnant with my daughter. That's how it is and no one will question otherwise". Maria felt a sob breakthrough her quiet defences and she launched herself into his arms. "If anything having a baby makes me a little less gay". Maria let out a pfft as she wiped her eyes.

"Jamie Cameron… soon to be DeLuca. You are gay to the core and I as your wife completely support your relationships", Maria grasped his chin, "You will live a free man as long as your with me, the man you love will continue to live, I will be free and happy to have you in my life and in roughly six months out awesomeness will become parents to a beautiful little girl".

"I'm going to be a dad"?

"Yup". A smile brightened his face.

"Thank you".

"Why the hell are you thanking me Jamie? Do you have any idea what you've done for me"?

"Do you know what you've done for me and you top it off by giving me a daughter"?

"Thank you Jamie". He grinned at her before placing his hand on her stomach again.

"So, Ria. Tell me more about these powers".

"O.K.".

"And you'll tell me all that happened"?

"Of course".

* * *

**Roswell 2008**

Maria had just tucked Emmy into bed and was pouring herself a mug of herbal tea when a soft knock at her door caught her attention. Maria made her way across the room. Slightly concerned as Adrianna had not come home and she had been getting ready to call her. She looked through the peep hole to see her step-father standing on the balcony at the top of the stairs to her apartment.

"Good evening", she gave him a slight smile then motioned to Emmy's room in a silent signal that she was asleep.

"That might make this easier", he stated as he removed his trademark cowboy hat and sat on her sofa.

"Make what easier"?

"I had a phone call today".

"From who"?

"Maria, lower your voice it's not bad news". Maria relaxed a little but Jim was still sheriff and he had never turned up at her home past 6pm unannounced.

"What is it then"? As she spoke Aide walked in the front door. She looked forlorn and Maria made a mental note to try and ease her '_sisters_' problems.

"Kyle called". Maria froze and she saw Aide slow her movements.

"How long were you on the phone with him"? Jim's eyebrow quirked with the question from the FBI agent.

"Is there someone investigating them again"?

"Not the FBI or any other law enforcement".

"Who then"? Adrianna sat down on a chair across from Maria and Jim.

"Someone from Antar is digging around".

"Tess"? Adrianna gave Maria a droll look then smiled at her.

"Tess is definitely dead. I've been keeping an eye on the other set", Maria nodded at the reference to the other cloned pod squad, "It's been confirmed to me that they are all deceased. Through their own actions; drink, drugs… guns and because of another alien. Looking for someone".

"Are they in danger"?

"I don't believe so. The others were clones… a backup. It seems that whoever is looking for them is looking for the originals and is clearing the path of all the fakes. If anything though, they'd be safer here".

"And that brings me to my visit". Maria gave her father a look that took the place of a thousand swears.

"I think they are coming home Maria".

"Home? To whom? They are not welcome here".

"Even if it keeps them safe"? Maria looked her 'sister' in her glowing brown eyes. "I know you don't hate them Maria. Just what and how they did it".

"What about Emelia"?

"She has all of us to keep her safe". Jim placed a hand on his daughter's shoulders. Aide gave her a grin.

"There is not an alien in the universe with little enough sense to come up against who you have behind you".

"Brian is not that big of a deal". Jim dismissed his wife's ex-husband with a wave of his hand.

"He's an international politician in the covenant plus there is me, my father and Miles".


End file.
